strut YOUR fucking stuff!

I think I am capable of shaking my groove thing with the best of them but wouldn't you know I was quickly tested when some hip-hop instructor says, "5, 6, 7, 8..." Bumbling idiot doesn't even come close to what one feels like when put up against folks who come to class every other day. Candy Shop by 50 Cent was the song of the day and for the most part I got the moves but alas my lack of rythmic dance skills made me look like a FOOL! Oh well, so distraught with my performance I didn't even opt for an additional workout and headed home. Of course waiting at home was a yum salmon salad and macaroni salad, the salad was good but I easily could've skipped the macaroni BUT damn need for food after the gym. See if I had a boyfriend I could come home have sex and go to bed but since that isn't the case I opt to eat, which hinders the "getting a boyfriend" part. Damn irony...

My late work days are soon coming to an end so maybe I'll push it hardcore tomorrow or Sunday... ok not maybe, I will push it hardcore!

CQsoftheD

Customer 1:

Succumbing to the Man!

After searching for "mens necklaces" the lady customer found something a little more up her gentleman's alley - Poker cards in a Beer Can.

Customer 2:

Search Term: "bad breath cures"
Purchased Item: Martini glass patch

Pattern of the day:

Brad walked into our office and said, "Anyone know a good plumber? My hot water heater at home has just blown and I need one now!"

At that same moment a customer was placing an order online after searching for "on-demand hot water heaters." (She bought a talking keychain.)

Advise Needed

Larry was on vacation for a few days so I decided to catch up with her and write ALL the descriptions for ALL the new stuff so that when she came back it would be all ready for her to update on the site.

She came back yesterday afternoon, I told her the stuff was ready and so she started putting the items up on the site.

This morning I expected nothing but upon seeing an e-mail from her I thought it might be a THANKS FOR ALL THAT WORK!! or something of that nature (since we only communicate via e-mail). Instead she sent me a document with the proper formatting of links???? I thought - what the hell - did I link something wrong???

Instead I think it was an invitation to her psyche!

The links in the doc had nothing to do with the descriptions I'd written so there weren't any "corrections" in there but at the base of the doc was the following quote (or personal thought or ... whatever):

I don't have to think this way anymore. It's not anyone else's fault that I am the way I am. I choose what I think, feel, and do, and that's a tremendous power. I have the power to choose who I am going to be and how I am going to live my life.

(Then there was also a link to: http://www.subservientchicken.com/ and another typed
note which read: queso fresco .)


I'm wondering how I should respond to her note with the Links.doc....

At last!

Larry has passed my lesbian test and inadvertently outed herself as a big ol' lesbo!! And how did this come to pass, you ask?

Well, yesterday Mario told me that Larry had, at some point in the past, pointed out the bumper sticker on my car to her. Mario, being a heterosexual married woman, did not understand the sticker's reference and Larry had explained it to her as being from a movie. Mario had promptly forgotten about it but recalled it yesterday because she'd just seen the movie.

Now there's only two groups of people that the sticker really means anything to and who might point it out: A) Menopausal women and B) lesbians

Since Larry is only 30 - she falls into group B!

NOW some of you readers might now be thinking that if you continue to read this blog you might eventually fall upon some hot lesbian romance story but NO! No no no no no! Larry is far too "butch" for my tastes! (Yet not quite butch enough to make her lesbianism a 100% positive!!!)

CQsoftheD

There was nothing... a dryness of customer humor and then today I found some things funny. It could be that I've been so wrapped up in my detestation of Mario that customer funnies couldn't break through my exterior haze of hatred... or they were just taking a break.

So without further ado:

Gift Message:

I don't understand this?? gift message?

Gift Message:

html> br> /html>

Gift Message:

Lots of love your own munster.

(????? LOTS of "love your own munster". LOTS OF LOVE your own munster. LOTS OF LOVE YOUR OWN munster. ??????)

Customer Search term: "shift knob pistol"

Customer Search term: "pocket bird carrier"

Pocket bird carrier????? Is this a carrier for Pocket Birds.... or a carrier that fits in your pocket for birds? This sounds unusually cruel unless you have an airy pocket and a sedated hummingbird. I just had to search for this on my own... and I found one... and this DOES NOT fit in a pocket!!!!:

http://www.naturechest.com/petpobica.html